


Oh Boy, What Flavor?

by Classpectanon



Series: Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drug Use, Faygo (Homestuck), Gen, Pie, Sopor Slime, Weed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:08:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28501254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classpectanon/pseuds/Classpectanon
Summary: "Problem clown! What's shaking, greasepaint?" The pixiedust phantom purred perniciously past the nonplussed Pierrot, poking, prodding, pink paws padding at pliant pelt, piggish for particular provender, a powerful pastry provision kept painfully apart from her gaping gob. Gamzee, or A Gamzee, not The Gamzee, the problem clown truly worth of the title, looked up at her in mute disbelief, his eyes wide. She was absolutely certain that he thought he was hallucinating, which was fine with her. She just swatted his hair a couple more times.2/365
Relationships: Gamzee Makara & Jasprosesprite
Series: Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085684
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Oh Boy, What Flavor?

"Problem clown! What's shaking, greasepaint?" The pixiedust phantom purred perniciously past the nonplussed Pierrot, poking, prodding, pink paws padding at pliant pelt, piggish for particular provender, a powerful pastry provision kept painfully apart from her gaping gob. Gamzee, or A Gamzee, not The Gamzee, the problem clown truly worth of the title, looked up at her in mute disbelief, his eyes wide. She was absolutely certain that he thought he was hallucinating, which was fine with her. She just swatted his hair a couple more times.

"Uh..." Gamzee replied, looking back and forth between Jasprose, the circle of imps surrounding him, and a rapidly cooling pie, with a delightful Faygo-Sopor-Creme filling. In a flash, Jasprose stopped being There and started being Elsewhere, namely, in the center of the circle.

"Did you make this? It looks delish. Gamzee, right?" She asked, grabbing the pie tin, giving it a twirl, watching her distorted, seizure-inducing reflection in the shiny, glimmering surface.

"Yeah. And, uh, who the motherfuck are you?" He asked, with that narrator-painful quirk that gave his voice that stylistic, high-off-his-tits waver, fluctuating rapidly between high and low volumes in his confusion.

"Oh, don't worry about it. This is your pie, right? Just so we're clear." She asked, lying on her belly, holding her chin in her hands. She flicked her tongue out playfully pieward. Boy, did she really want to get high right now.

Gamzee looked down at it, and then back at her, a little protectively. Oh, what's there to be protective about, Gam-Gam? Worried that a little cat's gonna steal your pie from the windowsill? (Yes). "Yeah."

"Can I have some?" She asked, flicking her tail back and forth like a metronome. Tick, tock, tick, tock, she could see Gamzee's eyes, unsure of where they wanted to focus on, staring at it, left, right, left, right, marching-beat rhythm distracting him from his prize.

Eventually, he tore his gaze away and looked down at her suspiciously. "For what?"

"To eat, dummy!" Jasprose laughed, rolling on the floor, rofling her lmao quite so. "I'll give you... Some boonbucks for it. No, wait, I have something even better." Jasprose offered, reaching into one of her many interdimensional pockets and pulling out a joint - freshly rolled, stuffed to the brim. "Fair's fair, right?"

Gamzee's eyes lit up, just a touch, and he cautiously reached out, clearly afraid of some sort of jape, or jest. Jasprose offered her prize to him, and silently let him take it out of her grasp. "'Atta boy. Don't kill anyone, now, I'll be right back."

"Why would I-" He began to ask, and then she was gone. He shrugged his shoulders, and got to work, knowing exactly what to do.

An hour later, now thoroughly stoned off his gourd (along with several imps in the cuddle puddle - unsurprisingly, they were all lightweights), the mysterious figure returned, depositing at Gamzee's feet an empty tin with slime-covered glasses stuck firmly to the aluminum. "Thanks, greasepaint! I'll be off!"

Gamzee looked at her, made a "Huh?" sort of sound, and then took another puff while she disappeared into a window. Oh well. Oh, hey, glasses!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. All views, kudos, comments, and bookmarks are appreciated.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/classpectanon)


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